Giant Chess Pieces In Polka-Dotted Boxer Shorts

Last night I had a dream based on one of my favorite scenes from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: the chess match. There were some major differences, of course.

First of all, I'm Hermione. Or maybe Hermione is me. Either way, I'm there; she's not. Second of all, as you may have imagined from the title, the chess pieces are all wearing polka-dotted boxer shorts in obscenely tacky color combinations. On their heads. Why? Who knows.

The queen, wearing blindingly bright green boxers with hot pink dots on top of her crown, starts yelling at me in a low but somehow squeaky voice, "Get the stone, get the stone! He has it!" as she was pointing toward the lemon-yellow boxers resting on the head of the white castle across the board.

The queen keeps on yelling as the aforementioned castle starts to do the same, pointing at the black bishop on my side of the board. "No! No! She has it! She has it!" Just when I've had time to think the words, "She? The bishop's a girl? Cool," the bishop starts yelling, too. Pretty soon every noble chess piece is shouting very loud accusations at pieces across the board while the pawns are doing their best to keep a fist/sword fight from breaking out.

At this point, Dream Me is trying to rationalize through a splitting headache why in the world boxer-wearing chess pieces are apparently fighting about some rock, when suddenly at my feet appears a round, red stone. I picks it up and suddenly....

Silence. Ah, so beautiful.

The chess pieces all take their boxers off their heads, all with awed expressions on their "faces", and hold them to their chest in a bizarre show of respect like men do with their cowboy hats in old western movies. Then they throw every pair of boxers on top of me, resulting in my being completely buried in the worst explosion of colors in the history of polka dots.

Then, I woke up. Thank God.